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“It is only the illusion of individuality that is the origin of all suffering.”— Dr. David Hawkins, The Eye of the I, p. 297

Intro. On-Line Only In-Call Special 1 1/4 hr $50.00 (1st time client’s) Mon – Fri

plus  offering senior and  veteran  in-call discounts with id.   Policies

Please call for an Appointment: 805-637-7482   Please no texts

 

Save Time and Download 1st Visit Intake Form HERE

 

 

Any of these modalities listed below can help Neck Pain, Shoulder & Arm Pain, Low Back Pain, Hamstring and Calf Injuries, Chronic Pain, Stress Relief, Headaches, Sciatica, Carpal Tunnel Relief and any other injuries or muscle related pain.

❶Nicola offers  Deep Tissue Massage,  Barefoot Deep Tissue Massage, Ashiatsu, ShiatsuCompression Massage, Sports and Injury Massage, Therapeutic Massage, Orthopedic Massage  (OM)  Myofascial Release, Trigger Point MassageNeuromuscular ReleaseSwedish Massage, Relaxing Massage, Reflexology Massage, Chair Massage, Lymphatic Drainage and some Asian bodywork in the Goleta and Santa Barbara, Ca  area’s. He also offers Healing Massage for Depression and Anxiety.

Nicola is a practicing licensed and insured professional LMT ( Licensed Massage Therapist) ( State Certification # 7239 ) and artist based in Goleta and Santa Barbara, CA. Nicola has a wide range of female and male clients from athletes, artists, UCSB, SBCC, Brooks students and faculty,  business people, educators, construction workers, elderly clients, house wives and tourists. He is very flexible in scheduling appointments either at his studio which is located in the Goleta, Ca area now.  He can also make professional appointments at Holistic Centers in Santa Barbara, Buellton, Key2Fitness or can make home or out call or mobile massage visits in the Tri – Counties area. He also works with other local area professional massage therapists and can offer couples massages and can schedule male and female therapists to come to your home for a amazing couple’s massage. Maybe you own a business with a large group of people or have a large party of people.  Nicola can organize as many therapists as you need to accommodate your specific needs.

 

A mandala containing symbols from 16 of our world`s many spiritual traditions, designed for honoring all paths to truth. Includes the Jewish Star of David, Buddhist Prayer Wheel, Native  American Medicine Wheel, Christian Cross, Hindu Om, Great Goddess, Taoist Ying Yang, Islamic Moon  and Star, Winged Sufi Heart, Sikh Symbol, Baha`i Star, African Goddess, Zoroastrian Flame, Confucian  Circle and Dot, Wiccan Pentacle and Egyptian Ankh.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A mandala containing symbols from 16 of our world`s many spiritual traditions, designed for honoring all paths to truth. Includes the Jewish Star of David, Buddhist Prayer Wheel, Native American Medicine Wheel, Christian Cross, Hindu Om, Great Goddess, Taoist Ying Yang, Islamic Moon and Star, Winged Sufi Heart, Sikh Symbol, Baha`i Star, African Goddess, Zoroastrian Flame, Confucian Circle and Dot, Wiccan Pentacle and Egyptian Ankh.

Therapeutic Healing Bodywork by NiCoLa!

 

Santa Barbara Massage. Nicola Bandak is a California State Licensed and Insured CMP (Certified Massage Practitioner) Professional BODY WORKER, by APPOINTMENT ONLY, Last Minute Appointments are OK.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Warning-Massage can become Addicting!

 

Warning- Good Bodywork can become Addicting!

If you appreciate high quality bodywork or just want to RELAX and go to “LA LA LAND” call Nicola.  Are you a serious athlete and need EXTREME bodywork or “FIX IT” work, weekend warrior with injuries or just want to keep that body tuned up? Then you have finally found your Santa Barbara Licensed and Insured Massage Therapist.

Nicola (aka – Nick, Chris or Banduechy…so named by his handball buddies) is a California State Licensed and Insured LMT (Licensed Massage Therapist) Professional Body Worker, by APPOINTMENT ONLY, Last Minute Appointments are OK!

 

 
Get into the ZONE…the PARASYMPATHETIC Zone
Click this link for a diagram  that explains the parasympathetic nervous system
 
 

 

Before you continue PLEASE watch this video called " The Wounded Healer"....
.. fantastic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDLUR15Z9o8

My style of Deep Tissue Massage releases the body’s natural painkillers whereby it stimulates the release of endorphins, the morphine-like substances that the body manufactures into the brain and nervous system. Once that happens (your now in a parasympathetic state  (“rest and digest”) I then go to work on your sore or injured areas to break up the damaged fibrous adhesion’s which are spread randomly though out a muscle’s tissue thus increasing blood flow, oxygen, strength, flexibility and tissue re-building. I use a variety of modalities to accomplish this: Swedish: This is your basic massage modality which incorporates long gentle strokes to increase blood flow to and from the muscles. Myofascial Release: This technique involves slower and deeper pressure into the muscle tissue to assist in breaking up adhesions and scar tissue in the muscle. Neuromuscular Release, NMT, Neuromuscular Re-Education, Body Pattern Synchronization (Call it what you want… everybody gives it their own name but we are all trying to do the same thing): This technique is “point-specific” work which targets muscle adhesion’s, muscle spindles in the belly of the muscle, trigger points that restrict normal flow of the nervous system to the muscles. Once the adhesion’s are broken up the client usually experiences an increase in range of motion, strength, and speed. ActiveRange of Motion:This technique is a stretching modality which takes the client through his or her normal range of motion to assist motor control and aids in the reduction of scar tissue and muscle adhesions. Active Isolated Stretching: This technique involves stretching which incorporates a process called reciprocal inhibition  (RI) to stretch the muscle as well as increase kinesthetic awareness of the body.

The key to “My STYLE” is an aggressive approach combined with sustained pressure ( increasing Ischemic blood supply) over time and a spiritual component.

(This diagram link explains this process)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What does Riktr mean?

Derived from “Off the Richter Scale” meaning that something is excellent, very good, over the top, on the edge, awesome, cool, da bomb, fantastic, hot or amazing.

Nice Quotes:

The strongest of all warriors are these two: Time and Patience.– Leo Tolstoi Patience, persistence and perspiration make an unbeatable combination for success.- Napolean Hill If only we arrange our life according to that principle which counsels us that we must always hold to the difficult, then that which now still seems to us the most alien will become what we most trust and find most faithful. – Rilke (Rilke on love an other difficulties-translations and considerations of Rainer Maria Rilke by John J. L. Mood) I tell you that I have a long way to go before I am –where one begins… – Rilke Resolve to be always beginning—to be a beginner. -Rilke ” The harder you work, the luckier you get.” – Gary Player, golfer “Nothing happens until something moves.” Albert Einstein As Dr. Rolf said, “Put the tissue where it should be and then ask for movement.” Our sorrows and wounds are healed only when we touch them with compassion. – Buddha Once you label me you negate me.  -Søren Kierkegaard I must find a truth that is true for me. -Søren Kierkegaard   Click here for: other nice quotes

FYI: Where does Riktr’s healing energy come from: These pictures say it all.

God’s Universal Energy or Chi, Ki, Ka, Xi, Netter, Ihund, Life Force, Prana, Holy Spirit, Ruhuh, Biomagnetic Energy or Innate Intelligence starts here. Click these links for more on Universal Energy.

Check out this video called “Angelic Human Race”   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDLUR15Z9o8   (See 101 Names of God)  

The Earth is part of  universal energy.

Check out this video called “Healing the Hearts of Humanity”   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7aKcvgTvIMQ&feature=related

The earth captures Universal magnetic energy in many different ways and stores it.

Check out this video called “The Awakening of The Cosmic Heart (The Core Rainbow)”   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=es-YbHlBKtU&NR=1

Magnetic universal energy is stored in the earth’s core and then is released.

The earth unleashes it’s energy in different ways.

Keeping your third eye open lets all the magnetic energy flow in and out of your body.

 

Human beings collect, store and release the magnetic energy.

Human beings collect, store and release magnetic energy some more then others.

 

Check out these links for Healing Sounds!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=URFnBeW423E http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73J05gjmMgw http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=HEALING+SOUNDS&aq=f

MASSAGE IS

M—Message of caring A—Aesthetics for the body S—Sacred touch S—Soothing of tension A—Anthology for the body G—General healing E—Energy balanced Massage Is a … Healing time for regeneration. Special time for individuation. Quiet time for imagination. Restful time for gratification. Sacred time for reflection. Sensational time with an exclamation!

by Joan Donato 

CitySlick local ads and coupons. Find Health Care Deals Deals!

*Disclaimer: This information is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice. You should not use this information to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease without consulting with a qualified healthcare provider. Please consult your healthcare provider with any questions or concerns you may have regarding your condition. The information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended as diagnosis, treatment, or prescription of any kind. The decision to use, or not to use, any information is the sole responsibility of the reader.

 

MSN Business Directory  

 

Goleta Massage, Licensed Massage Therapist Goleta, Massage Therapy Goleta, CA. Riktr Professional Massage by Nicola, LMT 805-637-7482

http://riktr.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/4-riktr-pics2.jpg

“It is only the illusion of individuality that is the origin of all suffering.”— Dr. David Hawkins, The Eye of the I, p. 297

Intro. On-Line Only In-Call Special 1 1/4 hr $50.00 (1st time client’s) Mon – Fri

plus  offering senior and  veteran  in-call discounts with id.   Policies

Please call for an Appointment: 805-637-7482   Please no texts

 

Save Time and Download 1st Visit Intake Form HERE

 

 

Any of these modalities listed below can help Neck Pain, Shoulder & Arm Pain, Low Back Pain, Hamstring and Calf Injuries, Chronic Pain, Stress Relief, Headaches, Sciatica, Carpal Tunnel Relief and any other injuries or muscle related pain.

❶Nicola offers  Deep Tissue Massage,  Barefoot Deep Tissue Massage, Ashiatsu, ShiatsuCompression Massage, Sports and Injury Massage, Therapeutic Massage, Orthopedic Massage  (OM)  Myofascial Release, Trigger Point MassageNeuromuscular ReleaseSwedish Massage, Relaxing Massage, Reflexology Massage, Chair Massage, Lymphatic Drainage and some Asian bodywork in the Goleta and Santa Barbara, Ca  area’s. He also offers Healing Massage for Depression and Anxiety.

Nicola is a practicing licensed and insured professional LMT ( Licensed Massage Therapist) ( State Certification # 7239 ) and artist based in Goleta and Santa Barbara, CA. Nicola has a wide range of female and male clients from athletes, artists, UCSB, SBCC, Brooks students and faculty,  business people, educators, construction workers, elderly clients, house wives and tourists. He is very flexible in scheduling appointments either at his studio which is located in the Goleta, Ca area now.  He can also make professional appointments at Holistic Centers in Santa Barbara, Buellton, Key2Fitness or can make home or out call or mobile massage visits in the Tri – Counties area. He also works with other local area professional massage therapists and can offer couples massages and can schedule male and female therapists to come to your home for a amazing couple’s massage. Maybe you own a business with a large group of people or have a large party of people.  Nicola can organize as many therapists as you need to accommodate your specific needs.

Neck Pain, Shoulder & Arm Pain, Low Back Pain, Hamstring and Calf Injuries, Chronic Pain, Stress Relief, Sciatica, Carpal Tunnel Relief, Nicola LMT 805-637-7482

“It is only the illusion of individuality that is the origin of all suffering.”— Dr. David Hawkins, The Eye of the I, p. 297

Intro. On-Line Only In-Call Special 1 1/4 hr $50.00 (1st time client’s) Mon – Fri

plus  offering senior and  veteran  in-call discounts with id.   Policies

Please call for an Appointment: 805-637-7482   Please no texts

 

Save Time and Download 1st Visit Intake Form HERE

 

 

Any of these modalities listed below can help Neck Pain, Shoulder & Arm Pain, Low Back Pain, Hamstring and Calf Injuries, Chronic Pain, Stress Relief, Sciatica, Carpal Tunnel Relief and any other injuries or muscle related pai

❶Nicola offers  Deep Tissue Massage,  Barefoot Deep Tissue Massage, Ashiatsu, ShiatsuCompression Massage, Sports and Injury Massage, Therapeutic Massage, Orthopedic Massage  (OM)  Myofascial Release, Trigger Point MassageNeuromuscular ReleaseSwedish Massage, Relaxing Massage, Reflexology Massage, Chair Massage, Lymphatic Drainage and some Asian bodywork in the Goleta and Santa Barbara, Ca  area’s. He also offers Healing Massage for Depression and Anxiety.

Nicola is a practicing licensed and insured professional LMT ( Licensed Massage Therapist) ( State Certification # 7239 ) and artist based in Goleta and Santa Barbara, CA. Nicola has a wide range of female and male clients from athletes, artists, business people, educators, construction workers, house wives and tourists. He is very flexible in scheduling appointments either at his studio which is located in the Goleta, Ca area now.  He can also make professional appointments at Holistic Centers in Santa Barbara, Buellton, Key2Fitness or can make home or out call or mobile massage visits in the Tri – Counties area. He also works with other local area professional massage therapists and can offer couples massages and can schedule male and female therapists to come to your home for a amazing couple’s massage. Maybe you own a business with a large group of people or have a large party of people.  Nicola can organize as many therapists as you need to accommodate your specific need

Massage therapy santa barbara, massage therapist santa barbara, therapeutic massage santa barbara, pain relief santa barbara, goleta by Nicola, LMT 805-637-7482 Riktr Pro Deep Tissue Massage

http://riktr.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/4-riktr-pics2.jpg

Save Time and Download 1st Visit Intake Form HERE

“It is only the illusion of individuality that is the origin of all suffering.”— Dr. David Hawkins, The Eye of the I, p. 297

 

Professional Massage therapy Santa Barbara, Goleta, Pro massage therapist is now in Goleta, Santa Barbara, Nicola offers therapeutic massage Santa Barbara and pain relief masage in Santa Barbara, Goleta, CA. Have moved to Goleta and am 7 minutes from UCSB. UCSB athletes, students and faculty, if you need a recommendation please talk to Leroy the head trainer for UCSB athletics.

 

Intro. On-Line Only In-Call Special 1 1/4 hr $50.00 (1st time client’s) Mon – Fri, that’s 75 minutes of hands on time! Sliding scale for UCSB, SBCC and Brooks students and faculty.

plus  offering senior and  veteran  in-call only discounts with ID.

Please call for an Appointment: 805-637-7482   Please no texts. My Policies

 

Any of these modalities listed below can help Neck Pain, Shoulder & Arm Pain, Low Back Pain, Hamstring and Calf Injuries, Chronic Pain, Stress Relief, Sciatica, Carpal Tunnel Relief and any other injuries or muscle related pai

❶Nicola offers  Deep Tissue Massage,  Barefoot Deep Tissue Massage, Ashiatsu, ShiatsuCompression Massage, Sports and Injury Massage, Therapeutic Massage, Orthopedic Massage  (OM)  Myofascial Release, Trigger Point MassageNeuromuscular ReleaseSwedish Massage, Relaxing Massage, Reflexology Massage, Chair Massage, Lymphatic Drainage and some Asian bodywork in the Goleta and Santa Barbara, Ca  area’s. He also offers Healing Massage for Depression and Anxiety. Also offering in call to your home, hotel or office mobile massage services

Nicola is a practicing licensed and insured professional LMT ( Licensed Massage Therapist) ( State Certification # 7239 ) and artist based in Goleta and Santa Barbara, CA. Nicola has a wide range of female and male clients from athletes, artists, business people, educators, construction workers, house wives and tourists. He is very flexible in scheduling appointments either at his studio which is located in the Goleta, Ca area now.  He can also make professional appointments at Holistic Centers in Santa Barbara, Buellton, Key2Fitness or can make home or out call or mobile massage visits in the Tri – Counties area. He also works with other local area professional massage therapists and can offer couples massages and can schedule male and female therapists to come to your home for a amazing couple’s massage. Maybe you own a business with a large group of people or have a large party of people.  Nicola can organize as many therapists as you need to accommodate your specific needs.

DAMAGED GOODS: Falling in love with women that think of themselves as “damaged goods”.

http://riktr.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/4-riktr-pics2.jpg

“It is only the illusion of individuality that is the origin of all suffering.”— Dr. David Hawkins, The Eye of the I, p. 297

Intro. On-Line Only In-Call Special 1 1/4 hr $50.00 (1st time client’s) Mon – Fri

plus  offering senior and  veteran  in-call discounts with id.   Policies

Please call for an Appointment: 805-637-7482   Please no texts

 

Save Time and Download 1st Visit Intake Form HERE

❶Nicola offers  Deep Tissue Massage,  Barefoot Deep Tissue Massage, Ashiatsu, ShiatsuCompression Massage, Sports and Injury Massage, Therapeutic Massage, Orthopedic Massage  (OM)  Myofascial Release, Trigger Point MassageNeuromuscular ReleaseSwedish Massage, Relaxing Massage, Reflexology Massage, Chair Massage, Lymphatic Drainage and some Asian bodywork in the Goleta and Santa Barbara, Ca  area’s. He also offers Healing Massage for Depression and Anxiety.

Nicola is a practicing licensed and insured professional LMT ( Licensed Massage Therapist) ( State Certification # 7239 ) and artist based in Goleta and Santa Barbara, CA. Nicola has a wide range of female and male clients from athletes, artists, business people, educators, construction workers, house wives and tourists. He is very flexible in scheduling appointments either at his studio which is located in the Goleta, Ca area now.  He can also make professional appointments at Holistic Centers in Santa Barbara, Buellton, Key2Fitness or can make home or out call or mobile massage visits in the Tri – Counties area. He also works with other local area professional massage therapists and can offer couples massages and can schedule male and female therapists to come to your home for a amazing couple’s massage. Maybe you own a business with a large group of people or have a large party of people.  Nicola can organize as many therapists as you need to accommodate your specific needs

 

When you love somebody what does it mean when they think of themselves as “Damaged Goods? ” Here’s the research information which as time permits I will add more information. This is for someone that I deeply care about and I pray they find this post.

The Definition of Damaged Goods :

Someone who was once healthy and/or normal but isn’t anymore due to unfortunate, traumatic events in his/her life (i.e. physical abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, drug abuse…u get it).

The Self-Destruction Feature

BY PHILLIP WITTMEYER

People with the chief feature of Self-destruction are always aware of their faults. This can particularize in several ways. They might dislike their body, for instance: it is too short or too tall, too fat or too thin, the ears are too big, the hair is too curly, and so on. They might be self-critical about their work: they are not thorough enough, not fast enough, not accurate enough, and so on. They might be displeased with their personality: they are not smart enough, not funny enough, not likable enough. In whatever area or areas it is expressed, people in Self-Destruction see their flaws rather than their perfection, their blemishes rather than their beauties, their evils rather than their righteousness.

In many cases Self-Destruction can show up as a suicidal tendency or behavior which is deliberately harmful to oneself. People who often do things that hurt themselves, who get in a mood where they do things that are to their own detriment, are likely to be in this chief feature. They regard themselves as damaged merchandise, and may damage themselves further. In its most extreme form, this is masochism. Sometimes it takes the form of suicide, and if not overtly that, at least a person who is accident prone — careless to the point of often hurting himself, and not seeming to care that he is hurt.

I call this feature Renunciation because the person renounces or denies or neglects himself. People with this feature believe that it is not possible for others to love them. They dislike, even hate themselves. They are always self-critical, overly conscious of their defects. They expect to be hated because they hate themselves. They think they are ugly and others are beautiful. They condemn themselves for their defects.

In the Positive Pole of +Sacrifice, the person thinks others are of greater merit and so they are willing to give of their own time and/or resources so that those others can have. He is very conscious of loss and gain, and sees himself as the one losing in most transactions. He spends himself for others, works hard and gives away too much. He takes no time for himself and refuses to spend money on himself, but may spend all he has on others. In its best form, this is unselfishness. He enjoys giving gifts, even to the point of his own detriment. He would rather go without if he can then give to others. Most often he gives tangible things, but he is also willing to sacrifice time and effort for the sake of others. He is not possessive about what he owns and willing to share — he can be very generous. If others ask, he gives it away — “what’s mine is yours”.

The Negative Pole is -Self-hatred. People in this Pole see themselves as blemished, damned, abused, exhausted, and cursed. To others who view behavior driven by this Pole, it seems the person is deliberately trying to punish himself for not being beautiful and pure. It is the kind of person who hurts himself when something goes wrong in his life. Maybe he gets drunk or goes on an eating binge, for instance. This is the person who tends to blame himself for everything that goes wrong in his life, rather than blaming circumstances or other people. He thinks the universe itself hates him. He believes everybody thinks he is ugly, foolish, and despicable. Perceptions are distorted such that a fair and objective comment by others may be perceived as a negative criticism.

The original name of the Negative Pole is “immolation”, which is a word for a certain type of sacrifice, implying one being consumed by fire — a burnt offering. In +Sacrifice, the self is given up for others, but in -immolation, the self is destroyed or consumed, and nobody benefits. An extreme form of this is the person who renounces his worldly goods and pledges himself to poverty — to owning nothing. He becomes an ascetic.

Self-Destruction is the complementary opposite of Greed. Renunciats do not like to be the center of attention like people in Greed do — others may notice their flaws. They are focused on the exterior universe rather than being self-centered. They want others to be on the receiving end, rather than themselves. They dedicate themselves to the benefit of others. They do not allow possessions to accumulate, because if they do gain something, they then give it away. Even if they do not go to this extreme, Renunciats, when they do come into some money, tend to spend it rather than save it, but not on anything that they will have something to show for their money. It pleases them to be able to say “I can’t afford it” even if they have to spend all their money to be able to say this. They do not feel comfortable with money in the bank. They deny themselves any luxury.

Self-Destruction is the counterpart of the Artisan Role. Artisans craft things in the environment. Renunciats in their best expression craft themselves by casting off any ugliness in themselves.

A person in Self-Destruction tends to pick himself apart. It can be constructive criticism that the person uses to purify and purge himself. Since he is so conscious of his faults and defects, he can work on these for self-improvement. Often times the person in Self-Destruction is very picky about personal grooming practices, for instance. He may do many things to make up for his imagined ugliness. On the other hand, in the Negative Pole, his self-analysis can be destructive and judgmental.

The basic fear that drives Self-Destruction is the fear of loss of self-control. This may seem surprising at first, since this might seem more appropriate for Warriors, but the reason for it is that the self-denial which is a part of Renunciation leads to self-discipline. Renunciates are ruthless with themselves, showing no mercy. People who do not “indulge” themselves do not lose control of themselves: give in to their desires. Renunciates regard it as a sin to reward themselves, spend money on themselves, or do what they want — they must do for others instead. They find it difficult to ask others to fulfill their needs. It is very difficult for them to relax, let go, and enjoy themselves. They are exacting and fastidious about themselves. Thus they control themselves and deny their personal fulfillment. Because they restrict themselves, they prefer situations and relationships which are limited and controlled. The way to conquer this fear is to contemplate the Positive Pole of the Complementary Feature, Selfishness, which is +Egotism. If the person in Self-Destruction will not worry so much about what other people think of him, but thinks more about his own desires, he can control his fear.

Renunciates worry a lot about what other people think of them. They judge themselves by what others think of them, rather than disregarding what others think. Because they notice their own deficiencies, they think other people do also. It matters a lot that others do not notice their faults and blemishes, so they may work to conceal them. They are hungry for compliments to prop up their negative self-image. They think they need to be told they are attractive, but even when they are they rarely believe it because they believe they are repulsive.

People with this Feature let themselves be used, and hate themselves for it when they see it, but keep on letting it happen because if fulfills the self-image of one deserving of hatred. (This is the typical deceptive perversity of the Feature.) Others may subconsciously detect this and take advantage of the Renunciate — especially people in Greed. The lesson to be learned from this Feature is that every transaction between people and with the universe should be mutually beneficial. Neither should gain at the expense of the other. This Feature distorts the perception of love with the lie that one can be of benefit to others at one’s own expense. Self-sacrifice is not noble.

 

by Simon Jacobson

 Beshalach: Are You Damaged Goods

The Psychology of Torah vs. Other Schools of Psychology

Not long ago a young man in his early 30’s came to see me. Tall, handsome and articulate, he seemed put together. That is, until he began to share his story. At first he spoke calmly and deliberately. Even as he discussed himself he did so as if he was speaking about another person, totally aloof and detached.

But then the dam broke. With tears in his eyes he shared with me how he was violated and deeply wounded as a child, in ways that I would prefer not to graphically describe here.

Hearing how an innocent defenseless child has been hurt tears your heart out. I too began to well up. But then things got worse.

This man, at no fault of his own, told me how his entire childhood and growth into adulthood was haunted by one prevailing feeling: “I am damaged goods.”

And if this wasn’t bad enough, he related how, after years of intense therapy, he sensed that his own therapist agreed with him. “In one of our last sessions,” he told me, “I asked my therapist if he sees me making any progress. I still am having extreme difficulty dating and building a healthy relationship. I don’t feel that I trust anyone, and am pretty sure that no one trusts me. So where is this therapy going”? The fellow continued: “My therapist’s tepid reply made my heart sink. He told me that healing takes time; it can often be a lifelong experience, and even then some things may never be fixed.”

“So what the [expletive] am I paying top dollar for therapy when things may never be fixed?!” he blurted out to me – and, I guess, to his therapist.

Great question.

I asked him for permission to call his shrink and try to get some clarity. With his blessing I unabashedly picked up the phone and had a conversation with this mental health professional. Long story short, this particular therapist believes that therapy can soothe, minimize and alleviate some of the pain, hopefully enough to allow this fellow to function better, but damaged goods are damaged goods, and he didn’t have much hope that this individual would become functional enough to build a healthy marriage and family. “Some people are not destined to find true happiness, especially in that way. We need to help them find some comfort in other ways.” I didn’t expect that he would share this sentiment with his paying client…

When I pushed him further, wondering what his role as a healer of souls may be, he finally conceded that some damages cannot be repaired. He actually presented a plausible and even scientific (based on his axioms, that is) argument: Just as body parts can be severed (G-d forbid) in an accident, with no hope of growing back, so too can our psyches incur irreversible damage.”

Whoa… I thought to myself: This certainly opens up a Pandora’s box.

Is this true? Do many – and how many – psychologists actually believe that certain life experiences damage you forever? How many feel that some people are actually damaged goods? And how does this bode for the benefits of modern psychology and its interventions?

I went to search for the definition of “damaged goods” and discovered that most dictionaries offer a gloomy definition: “A person who is considered to be no longer desirable or valuable because of something that has happened.” “A person considered to be less than perfect psychologically, as a result of a traumatic experience.”

I reminded myself of Josephine Hart’s damaging quote: “Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive.” Is that good or bad news?

The questions mount – and challenge our very perception of ourselves, as well as the perception of our professionals.

How deep are the effects of psychological trauma?

Trauma results from a violation of a person’s familiar ideas about the world and of their human rights, putting the person in a state of extreme confusion and insecurity. This can also be experienced when people or institutions, depended on for survival, violate or betray or disillusion the person in some unforeseen way.

Traumatic experiences in people’s lives, especially in children, completely overwhelm the individual’s ability to cope or integrate the ideas and emotions involved with that experience. This sense of being overwhelmed can be delayed by weeks, years or even decades, as the person struggles to cope with the immediate circumstances.

We know that a severe traumatic event, especially one that is repeated or enduring, can lead to serious long-term negative consequences that are often overlooked even by mental health professionals. Trauma victims, young and old, organize much of their lives around repetitive patterns of reliving and warding off traumatic memories, reminders, and affects.

But how deep are these affects? Do they cause permanent damage? Once broken, can a soul be repaired?

Are some of us then damaged goods? Are some situations pretty much hopeless? Do some professionals believe that, but simply choose (for many reasons) not to share that information?

Doesn’t this question lie at the heart of all healing? How powerful is the healing process when it comes to human psyche and soul? For that matter, what does our soul and psyche look like? What potential do they have? Can we ever completely heal?

Theories abound about these fundamental questions – cutting into the very core of the human soul. These theories surely span the spectrum from one extreme to the next: Some argue that like all things in nature the human psyche can get irreparably damaged. Others feel that some healing can be achieved. The differences of opinion range as to how much healing. But the consensus more or less is that we cannot expect a traumatized or wounded psyche to ever fully rebound.

I would like to humbly submit the Torah/Chassidus view on the matter. You can compare the different modalities and draw your own conclusions. May the best man win.

***

Sixty four years ago this week (the 10th day of the Hebrew month of Shevat 1950) my mentor’s mentor (Rebbe’s Rebbe) ascended on high. His name: Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak Schneersohn, the sixth Chabad Rebbe. The last discourse he published in his lifetime was issued for study that very day. The Chassidic discourse, titled Basi L’Gani, Come to my Garden (a verse in Song of Songs), consists of twenty chapters.

When Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak’s son-in-law, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson, assumed leadership of the movement, he began his first discourse with the same verse, and elucidated on the original discourse. Every year hence, on this day, Yud Shevat, the Rebbe would focus, in consecutive order, on another one of the twenty chapters of the discourse, in 1952 – chapter two, 1953 – chapter three, concluding with chapter twenty in 1970. Then he began the order again. Based on this cycle, this year, 2014 (5774), corresponds to the 4th chapter of Basi L’Gani.

What is the theme of chapter four?

You guessed it, the nature of the “damage” or the way it’s described in this discourse, the nature of the forces that “conceal” the pure and healthy divine soul.

In the words of the chapter: Though, as stated above, the world obscures G-dliness — i.e. the spirit of folly stemming from the animal soul can obscure the light and truth of the G-dly soul — this affects only the middos, the emotive attributes of the G-dly soul, but not its essence.

The question is how deep is this concealment? How deep the damage?

Each and every person has a healthy divine soul that always remains intact in its health. Upon birth this soul enters into a material body and animal soul, which conceals the purity and health of the divine soul.

The healthy soul, which is essentially divine, is aligned with its purpose. Like a healthy machine that follows its engineer’s plan. But once inside the body and animal drive, their selfish desires dull his healthier senses, causing the person to deviate and get misaligned from his or her life calling. Conflict has been born – a split between who you truly are and what you do, between your core and your behavior.

This is the root definition of all “disease” – a body that is misaligned from its soul. From this stems every form of dissonance. In its more extreme form this is the effect of trauma, which overwhelms the individual and causes a part of him or her to break off from itself and its soul connection.

But – as explained in chapter four of the discourse – even the most extreme form of trauma and dissonance only impacts the emotional faculties of the soul, its self-perception, self-awareness and feelings. This damage is only as strong as the feelings vested in it. But beneath the surface of our consciousness, the core soul remains intact, healthy and as connected as ever.

Indeed, what is even more amazing – as the chapter explains – is that the very concealment and dissonance itself was created for you: your challenges are a vote of confidence in you and your ability to overcome this temporary concealment, and recognize your true inner divine power.

The reason that the “animal soul” has the power and ability to conceal your healthy core is because its power is rooted in the divine desire to overcome these challenges and transform them into colossal forces of good.

And therefore, though initially and ostensibly life’s traumas can cover up and conceal the outer dimensions, the conscious feelings, of the healthy soul, they do not in any way compromise the core itself.

Our faith and connection to the core gives us the strength to overcome these overwhelming forces and discover the unscathed soul within.

So there you have the psychology of Chassidus:

There is no such thing as damaged goods.

In a man-made world with man-made objects things are built and then broken. In a world subject to the laws of erosion, aging, deterioration and death, things always get damaged; the arrow travels in one direction, from healthy to less healthy, from complete to broken. This process cannot always be reversed.

But in the divine-made world of the immortal soul, nothing is ever permanently damaged. The expression of the soul – its feelings and outer faculties – can be concealed and temporarily blinded. Trauma can impede our functions. But they can never damage our core souls.

You are only as damaged as your perception and feelings convince you to be. Otherwise known as projection. In truth, beneath it all, on the foundation level, where it matters most, you are not damaged at all. Your beautiful soul sits waiting for you to believe in it and set her free.

As Michelangelo famously explained how he sculpts such beautiful angels in the marble: I saw the angel in the marble, so I carved and carved and set her free.

Life’s travails can wear us down. Loss, pain, trauma etch their wounds into our psyches. Our pure souls get entangled and trapped in marble, concrete or even more sullied substances. But their effect goes only as far as our perception and feelings allow them to go. They do not touch the core essence of who you are.

This is the foundation of all true healing.

Believe in yourself because G-d believes in you. Indeed, your very challenges – the ones that control your initial perception and feelings, concealing the inner power of your divine soul – were created for you to overcome them and seek out the divine within.

Thus, even your feeling like “damaged goods” is meant to motivate you to transcend that feeling and reach the true you.

So the next time your despondent voice whispers to you that you are “damaged goods,” and the next time your therapist concurs – tell them both that you just read in a discourse of a mystic and healer of the highest order that it just ain’t so.

 

 

The three types of personalities that are most commonly talked about as setting off our ‘Red Flag’ radar for ‘damaged goods’ are:

All three personalities share similar traits of over- attachment, anxiety, the need for inordinate amounts of intimacy & approval, including the tendency to deluge their would-be partners with intense emotional expressiveness, coldness or bouts of severe dependency.

Regardless of whether you have been the donor or recipient in these types of cases, the experience is ultimately neither pleasant nor satisfying.

Being a mama’s boy, a daddy’s girl, having a STD, mood disorder, an addiction, being the unfortunate victim of domestic violence, suffering emotional neglect as a child or having your heart broken one too many times; these are all familiar reasons that society understands for why one would suffer an emotional imbalance, poor self-image and low self-esteem.

Many of us in this situation may feel undeserving of real affection if we ourselves feel incapable of showing a full range of emotions, but perhaps what is even more or just as damaging is the belief, in some quarters, that once you are damaged, you are forever damaged. As a result, anyone with the damaged goods label starts to feel like a lost cause, unworthy of real love or attention and hence the slippery slope of low self-esteem coupled with poor self-image becomes even direr.

We may know someone or it may be us that have felt like this at some point. We can acknowledge our issues or we can turn a blind eye to what’s going on in the hope that our emotional imbalance will just go away, but it won’t…at least not like that.

Unacknowledged, our issues fester inside us screaming to be heard and healed, yet we could just be one conversation, one moment of inspiration, or just one simple gesture of self- love away from discovering an emotional breakthrough!

So many of us who have been wounded on an emotional level in one way or another, seldom seek the proper counseling or possess the right knowledge of self to hang on for that breakthrough, before we embark on new relationships , living situations, jobs, etc. We only seem to equate emotional hurt with pain. Once that pain becomes easier to live with or in some cases ignored, we tend to think all is fine without realizing that we still carry the internal scar, (increasing the potential for numerous internal diseases) which means the healing process is not yet over, but we may not be conscious enough to realize that!

Having the lifestyle tools that regularly encourage self-introspection, self-knowledge, continual healing, the building of supportive relationships , regular or systematic cleansing on all levels and a life code that gives instruction on all the above is called a culture . A culture exists and evolves solely to cultivate you, bringing out your best under all foreseeable conditions through various social and personal devices.

Having a positive culture in place can also be summarized as having a living eco-system that constantly provides round the clock physical, mental, spiritual and emotional healing and maintenance. Living your life in this way will help you to develop the self- love necessary for you to identify  the corrupt or lesser forms of love coming from so called ‘damaged’ individuals. At that point you can have realistic expectations if you choose to romantically get involved, be a friend, or simply walk away if dealing with that person is more than you can handle at that moment.

Ultimately, healing for everyone begins with acknowledging the need to heal , knowing how to, and then starting the process.

It takes time.

It takes care.

It takes maturity.

It takes getting over your ego.

It takes correct love and support.

It takes character review and correction.

It takes digging deep with all the strength you have.

It takes You to do this properly.

But if depression, having an addictive personality, sleep aids, toxic relationships , self-denial, living under the shadow of fear and insecurity, sounds like something you can deal with, then there may not be much you have to change…

But I don’t think that’s what you or any of us really want, is it?

 

 

“Good girls are loved by the bad boys whom they seek as much as a moth is embraced by the flame to which it flies.”

Xenocrates

This goes out to all the women out there chasing after bad boys:

One of single most profound things that I’ve discovered about women is the amazingly shallow perceptive capability that many of them are naturally born with by default.

Most women do not develop highly perceptive cognition with respect to the opposite sex until their late twenties. This I’ve found is largely as a result of how women think.

I have always found it strange how women seem to become irresistibly magnetized to men who are conspicuously bad for them. This is especially true for young women.

While pondering the cause of this rather perplexing puzzle, I recalled the works of the father of psychology, Sigmund Freud. He offers a series of intriguing clues that culminated in the obvious solution for this frustrating problem among women.

The Female Edifice

To better understand what goes on in a woman’s mind when these relationships are spawned, we need to understand the characteristics of the female edifice. This is the key to our solution.

According to Freud, every child is doomed to evolve into the parent of the same gender while becoming sexually attracted to the parent of the opposite gender. This has some very curious implications.

For those of you not familiar with psychological metaphors, Freud wasn’t referring to an Oedipus complex or any kind of incest. Rather, he was speaking to the way people evolve sexually.

Based on this now widely accepted theory, every woman is to some extent doomed to become her mother and is likewise bound to marry (or become sexually attracted to) men who are relatively identical to her father.

We know through biological research that a woman’s mother has genetically pre-determined the kind of character (and indeed the very physicality) that she will possess when she becomes mature. We know through psychological research that women tend to validate their boyfriends with their dads.

A woman’s father is her first point of reference for the opposite sex. She will thus learn to transmute her natural paternal affections into sexual ones when she finds a male who has the closest character features that match her first point of reference (i.e. her father). In other words, women are primarily attracted to men who resolve the incomplete symmetry that was their father.

The sexual desire for her first boyfriend resolves this incomplete symmetry. The collation of these two proponents is what is known as the Female Edifice. Women further determine the expected behavioural characteristics of how a female adult would relate to a male by observing her mother and father.

These characteristics become imprinted onto her mind as she approaches and goes through puberty and feed the developmental cycle as she approaches adulthood. I guess you can see clearly now where I’m going with this…

The Bad Boy Syndrome and Sex Appeal

The term “Bad boy” collectively refers to any male character that possesses a great deal of charisma, assertiveness, sex appeal, self confidence and most notoriously, a blatant, wanton and indiscriminate narcissism.

Of course, women see everything except that last part. Bad boys pickup women very easily because they often exhibit the core male characteristics that turn women on. Bad boys are like those highly fatty gourmet foods they’d love to gorge yourself on if you couldn’t get fat (or in this case, get hurt).

Similarly, like a bad habit, most women keep falling for them just like how an alcoholic systematically destroys his liver or a smoker does the same to their precious lungs.

Most women that fall for a bad boy know they are bad for them – at least the second time around (or on some subconscious level). However, because these men exude raw sex appeal, most women will not look further than the potent sexual urges they feel at that moment inspired by these guys’ masculinity.

Sex appeal is an extremely potent behavioural modifier. Sexual urges can make even the most perfectly sober persons do the most foolish things – emotionally driven women are no less so. Even women who’ve had their hearts broken by these types of men on multiple occasions will continue to patronize them so long as they maintain their capacity to elicit these emotions.

It is therefore reasonable to deduce that bad boy addiction is definitely one of the more serious problems facing single women today. However, it is not only sex appeal that drives women into the arms of promiscuous men like mindless sheep to the slaughter. Freud’s explanation factors into this as well.

Incomplete Development and Insecurity

There is a second cause for this destructive habit in women. If you understand the idea behind the female edifice, then try to imagine what would happen if one or more of these conditions were found to be true for any given woman:

Would you be surprised if I told you that all of the above conditions are causes and effects of each other? Based on Freud’s theories, allow me to illustrate a few simple ideas that you may not have thought of before:

  1. No Father – Women who grew up with no significant positive father figure will find themselves becoming attracted to all sorts of men that are bad for them. This is because they have no first point of reference on which to determine an ideal mate of the opposite sex.
  2. Abusive Father – Women who have had abusive fathers (not necessarily abusive to them – maybe to their mothers) will similarly unknowingly find themselves drawn to men who will likewise abuse them. This is because they’re using the good qualities in their abusive fathers to gauge the men they find themselves attracted to. This causes these women to constantly find themselves being attracted to men who either abuse them or treat them for less than their worth.
  3. Abusive First Love – A woman who makes the mistake of picking up a boyfriend who abuses her (not necessarily physically), will find her self confidence to have been eroded significantly. She tends to try and fix this gaping hole in her psyche with the next best thing which is likely to be either a little better or worse than the one she had before. Either way, it starts a long string of bad relationships from there on out. This is because she is only trying to quickly fill the need instead of giving thought to changing her approach for determining an ideal mate. Few women are able to break this destructive cycle.
  4. Traumatic Relationship – Women who suffer emotional trauma (esp. at the hands of an male partner) tend to develop all sorts of irrational behaviours, insecurities and self defeating thoughts. This makes it incredibly difficult for other suitable males to be seen as ideal in her eyes, as she has now become paranoid, with serious trust issues. As a result, after their bad boy relationship ends, these women tend to lump all men in the same bag as the one man that treated her badly. This is how one man can make one woman hate all men.

Collectively, these women are whom I refer to as Damaged Goods. Even though they may not be aware of it, they have had such bad experiences with men that their level of trust in the opposite sex has suffered enough significant damage to ruin the likelihood of them ever enjoying new relationships.

How to tell if you’re damaged goods

Ladies, there are some men out there who carry a natural instinct for determining women who are emotionally damaged. If they’re bad boys, they’ll swoop in for an easy kill. If they’re particularly mature men, they’ll probably try to avoid you. So check yourself if you possess any the following characteristics:

Damage Control

In the wide gamut of women who find themselves in this unfavourable position, I usually find that there are two generally consistent categories:

  1. Women who love sex (like a man does)
  2. Women who have unrealistic expectations of men

In both cases, there’s usually a reference point problem (absentee or abusive father). The reference point creates a psychological mold with which a woman can use to discern a good male. This is concordantly why women who’ve had strong, positive male figures in their childhood are much harder to woo.

Women who lack this fundamental childhood mold will usually use the one thing they have left that drives all women to the opposite sex as the penultimate measure of male suitability: sex. Thus their inability to select a suitable male companion is partly due to a lack of emotional maturity.

In other words, women who find themselves being consistently drawn into a series of bad relationships have a very poor discernment methodology (even if it’s not their fault). Women who’ve had their trust in the opposite sex ruined by a series of unfortunate relationships will need to decide whether they are mature enough to change their approach to discerning men altogether.

Sex appeal isn’t everything. The only reason why sex appeal means so much to you is because you don’t have any other reference points upon which to base your judgment of a decent guy. Most of the time, the nice guys who you choose to ignore (usually because they lack sex appeal) are the very same guys that are significantly less likely to treat you like the scum bad boys crave.

So here’s a clue:

With that said:

Do’s and Don’ts of spotting Good Guys

Men are not particularly complicated animals. However there are some very obvious determinants that you’ll want to be cognizant of when looking for a good guy, especially since you tend to take them for granted given your already grossly wanting, incredibly, unfathomably narrow attention span:

1. Do affirm your objectivity

You already know that most guys just want to get into your pants, right? So lay down a ground rule from the very outset that you’re not interested in having sex until married. You don’t need to mean it. If he hasn’t bolted already, then you’ve probably got yourself a potential winner on your hands. Don’t worry if most of the men bolt. They’re all doing you a huge favour.

2. Don’t try to be a heroine

You can’t “change” a man from being a bad boy. Once he’s determined that he can snag women like grocery items, there’s nothing on this earth that’s going to convince him to be any more conservative about his awesome chick magnet powers. I don’t care how smart you think you are. Men are left brain dependent. They will ultimately outsmart you sooner or later.

3. Do try the shy guys

Ladies, always remember that every “nice guy” you turn down today is potentially another bad boy tomorrow. Sexual frustration can make even the most decent men become insensitive, sexual pimps. Don’t wait until you’ve had your share of bad boys to pick a nice guy. Good Men have a shelf life too.

There are loads of other self respecting women out there who are snatching them up by the dozens – usually women who’ve had very strong and positive father figures in their lives. That’s the reason why you and so many other women with poor choice skills complain that all the good guys are taken.

4. Don’t use a good guy as a girlfriend

When your bad boy relationship fizzes, the really good men out there who’ve been watching from the sidelines, hoping for their chance won’t want you anymore. Most of them have enough self respect to not engage in another man’s leftovers, especially after being used as your emotional punching bag when your bad boy lover starts to give you crap in your “relationship”.

5. Do try to value quality over impact

Women with a poor reference point have a way of needing to be “impressed” with a man before being interested. Good guys are not usually very smooth when it comes to women. That’s nothing more than a function of their personality. However, what they lack in verbal finesse, they more make up for in the quality of their personality and the viability of their friendship to you.

By contrast, men who try to be really impressive on the first meeting are using a “shock and awe” approach to score as much kitty points as possible. Men tend to use a forceful impact as a replacement for quality. Therefore don’t be surprised if the smooth talker you met then turns out to be a jerk now.

In Conclusion

Good girls are loved by the bad boys whom they seek in as much as a moth is embraced by the flame to which it flies. Therefore, changing the way you think about men will ultimately change the way they think about approaching you.

If you have (or had) daddy issues, all is not lost. Try to open your mind to other types of men out there. With the right kind of thinking, you put value on the things that last, as opposed to the things that glitter. Then, bad boys will begin to ignore you because they need women like addicts need crack; while good guys will embrace you as they need wives – not a flavour of the week.

 

 

 

The Obtuse Observations of a Wistful Writer 2009§337

Falling in love with damaged women

Being one with penchant for psychology, and as a perennial observer of romantic relationships, I am acutely aware of my own personal attractions and whatnot. As such, I have come to a particular revelation about what attracts me to particular women.

We have all heard of the white knight syndrome. It’s an affliction where you have the need to rescue others, specifically your romantic partner. According to this book, you suffer from white knight syndrome if “you care for their partners at the expense of your own needs, encounter abusive or self-destructive behavior in their partners, or try to control and make decisions for their partners.”

Now, I am not a controlling person. I never do that. I never did that when I was dealing with Malissa (you know, the one that got away). I never tried to make decisions for her. Rather, I tried to help her make decisions that were right for her. I tried to move her down a path that would be beneficial to her without making assumptions about what was best for her. I didn’t suffer in my helping her: no part of my life was neglected. Of course I cared for her deeply, so it comes as no surprise that I was rather stressed out most of the time. So apparently I’m not meeting most of the criteria for being a white knight. However, it was clear to me that Malissa had self-destructive tendencies that stemmed from low self-esteem and a general lack of self-worth. She compartmentalized it very well though. When we went out on a date, I didn’t get the sense that she was unstable or that she had a wealth of psychological issues. I worry that I might be attracted to women who are “damaged”. I worry that I will develop this white knight syndrome. I do not believe that I have developed it yet…but all of the ingredients are right there. I am an intensely passionate and caring person, especially towards my romantic partner. Outside the context of a relationship, I am very empathetic (perhaps to a fault). I hate to see anybody suffering, especially because of mental anguish. I love to help people, and I give of myself freely. It’s very easy to see myself falling into this pit.

Sometimes, I wonder if I fell in love with Malissa because she was someone I could fix. I remember how badly I needed her to be better. Although she never exhibited any maladjusted behaviors around me, she did express to me her inner thoughts. She told me about the daily mental battles she had to fight just to keep it together. And I wanted so much to take that pain away. All I wanted was to see her happy.

It’s easy to imagine that I wanted to be with her so that I could be her savior. It’s not a far stretch by any means to imagine that I would want to give my love to a girl who needed so much of it, so that I would become the guy who pulled her from the darkness, who saved her from the dreariness of her own tormented psychology. Being that knight in shining armor is an attractive idea. I am by nature a guardian, so all the pieces just fit together too nicely to ignore the possibility that I wanted Malissa because she was a damaged girl.

After some personal reflection, and a long dialogue with myself, I cut through the misremembered memories that were clouded with doubt and emotion. I remembered that I felt such an immense attraction towards her from the first time we wrote each other. I was attracted to her before I learned of her issues, and I remained just as attracted to her even after she told me about her problems. So no, I don’t believe I fall for women who are damaged.

Even so, I must remain wary of my thoughts. It is far too easy to fall prey to this fantasy of being the one good man who stood by her side through all her hardships; to be the single person who understood her and loved her. It is entirely in the realm of possibility that I get stuck trying to be the one to fix a woman’s issues, the guy who is so deeply in love with so much love to give that he is blind to her problems. I know and must admit that I probably have a hero complex. The real difficulty is figuring out whether or not such a desire to help others is intertwined with romantic attraction.

Good LA Times articles by Melissa Healy – 02 12 -2015 What is the Pollyanna hypothesis? Human language accentuates the positive. On the bright side.

 

“It is only the illusion of individuality that is the origin of all suffering.”— Dr. David Hawkins, The Eye of the I, p. 297

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❶Nicola offers  Deep Tissue Massage,  Barefoot Deep Tissue Massage, Ashiatsu, ShiatsuCompression Massage, Sports and Injury Massage, Therapeutic Massage, Orthopedic Massage  (OM)  Myofascial Release, Trigger Point MassageNeuromuscular ReleaseSwedish Massage, Relaxing Massage, Reflexology Massage, Chair Massage, Lymphatic Drainage and some Asian bodywork in the Goleta and Santa Barbara, Ca  area’s. He also offers Healing Massage for Depression and Anxiety.

Nicola is a practicing licensed and insured professional LMT ( Licensed Massage Therapist) ( State Certification # 7239 ) and artist based in Goleta and Santa Barbara, CA. Nicola has a wide range of female and male clients from athletes, artists, business people, educators, construction workers, house wives and tourists. He is very flexible in scheduling appointments either at his studio which is located in the Goleta, Ca area now.  He can also make professional appointments at Holistic Centers in Santa Barbara, Buellton, Key2Fitness or can make home or out call or mobile massage visits in the Tri – Counties area. He also works with other local area professional massage therapists and can offer couples massages and can schedule male and female therapists to come to your home for a amazing couple’s massage. Maybe you own a business with a large group of people or have a large party of people.  Nicola can organize as many therapists as you need to accommodate your specific needs.

 

Human language accentuates the positive. On the bright side. What is the  Pollyanna hypothesis?

 

Here’ the link:  http://www.latimes.com/science/sciencenow/la-sci-sn-human-language-positive-20150209-story.html

Link for all her Articles:

http://www.latimes.com/search/dispatcher.front?Query=melissa+healy&target=all

Diet and exercise alone are no cure for obesity, doctors say

Clot-removal device paired with drug shows benefits for stroke patients

Drink to your health? Only if you’re an older woman, study finds

Americans are still stressed out, mainly over money, annual report finds

 

LA TIMES Article 02-12-2015. Ultra- Deep Tissue Massage- What is Daoliao? Knife massage in Taiwan benefits a client with special kneads

http://riktr.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/4-riktr-pics2.jpg

 

“It is only the illusion of individuality that is the origin of all suffering.”— Dr. David Hawkins, The Eye of the I, p. 297

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Please call for an Appointment: 805-637-7482   Please no texts

 

Save Time and Download 1st Visit Intake Form HERE

❶Nicola offers  Deep Tissue Massage,  Barefoot Deep Tissue Massage, Ashiatsu, ShiatsuCompression Massage, Sports and Injury Massage, Therapeutic Massage, Orthopedic Massage  (OM)  Myofascial Release, Trigger Point MassageNeuromuscular ReleaseSwedish Massage, Relaxing Massage, Reflexology Massage, Chair Massage, Lymphatic Drainage and some Asian bodywork in the Goleta and Santa Barbara, Ca  area’s. He also offers Healing Massage for Depression and Anxiety.

Nicola is a practicing licensed and insured professional LMT ( Licensed Massage Therapist) ( State Certification # 7239 ) and artist based in Goleta and Santa Barbara, CA. Nicola has a wide range of female and male clients from athletes, artists, business people, educators, construction workers, house wives and tourists. He is very flexible in scheduling appointments either at his studio which is located in the Goleta, Ca area now.  He can also make professional appointments at Holistic Centers in Santa Barbara, Buellton, Key2Fitness or can make home or out call or mobile massage visits in the Tri – Counties area. He also works with other local area professional massage therapists and can offer couples massages and can schedule male and female therapists to come to your home for a amazing couple’s massage. Maybe you own a business with a large group of people or have a large party of people.  Nicola can organize as many therapists as you need to accommodate your specific needs.

LA TIMES Article 02-12-2015 by Sean Silbert. Ultra- Deep Tissue Massage- What is Daoliao? Knife massage in Taiwan benefits a client with special kneads

Here’e’s the link: http://www.latimes.com/world/asia/la-fg-taiwan-knife-massage-20150212-story.html

 

Knife massage clinic

 

LA TIMES Article 02-07-2015. Is Heavy jogging helpful? Not so fast, study says by Monte Morin

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“It is only the illusion of individuality that is the origin of all suffering.”— Dr. David Hawkins, The Eye of the I, p. 297

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plus  offering senior and  veteran  in-call discounts with id.   Policies

Please call for an Appointment: 805-637-7482   Please no texts

 

Save Time and Download 1st Visit Intake Form HERE

❶Nicola offers  Deep Tissue Massage,  Barefoot Deep Tissue Massage, Ashiatsu, ShiatsuCompression Massage, Sports and Injury Massage, Therapeutic Massage, Orthopedic Massage  (OM)  Myofascial Release, Trigger Point MassageNeuromuscular ReleaseSwedish Massage, Relaxing Massage, Reflexology Massage, Chair Massage, Lymphatic Drainage and some Asian bodywork in the Goleta and Santa Barbara, Ca  area’s. He also offers Healing Massage for Depression and Anxiety.

Nicola is a practicing licensed and insured professional LMT ( Licensed Massage Therapist) ( State Certification # 7239 ) and artist based in Goleta and Santa Barbara, CA. Nicola has a wide range of female and male clients from athletes, artists, business people, educators, construction workers, house wives and tourists. He is very flexible in scheduling appointments either at his studio which is located in the Goleta, Ca area now.  He can also make professional appointments at Holistic Centers in Santa Barbara, Buellton, Key2Fitness or can make home or out call or mobile massage visits in the Tri – Counties area. He also works with other local area professional massage therapists and can offer couples massages and can schedule male and female therapists to come to your home for a amazing couple’s massage. Maybe you own a business with a large group of people or have a large party of people.  Nicola can organize as many therapists as you need to accommodate your specific needs.

LA TIMES Article 02-07-2015. Is Heavy jogging helpful? Not so fast, study says by Monte Morin

Here’e’s the link:

http://www.latimes.com/science/sciencenow/la-sci-sn-running-health-20150202-story.html

What’s Causing This Burning Sensation in Muscles? Nicola, LMT 805-637-7482

 

“It is only the illusion of individuality that is the origin of all suffering.”— Dr. David Hawkins, The Eye of the I, p. 297

Intro. On-Line Only In-Call Special 1 1/4 hr $50.00 (1st time client’s) Mon – Fri

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Please call for an Appointment: 805-637-7482   Please no texts

 

Save Time and Download 1st Visit Intake Form HERE

 

Any of these modalities listed below can help Neck Pain, Shoulder & Arm Pain, Low Back Pain, Hamstring and Calf Injuries, Chronic Pain, Stress Relief, Sciatica, Carpal Tunnel Relief and any other injuries or muscle related pai

❶Nicola offers  Deep Tissue Massage,  Barefoot Deep Tissue Massage, Ashiatsu, ShiatsuCompression Massage, Sports and Injury Massage, Therapeutic Massage, Orthopedic Massage  (OM)  Myofascial Release, Trigger Point MassageNeuromuscular ReleaseSwedish Massage, Relaxing Massage, Reflexology Massage, Chair Massage, Lymphatic Drainage and some Asian bodywork in the Goleta and Santa Barbara, Ca  area’s. He also offers Healing Massage for Depression and Anxiety.

Nicola is a practicing licensed and insured professional LMT ( Licensed Massage Therapist) ( State Certification # 7239 ) and artist based in Goleta and Santa Barbara, CA. Nicola has a wide range of female and male clients from athletes, artists, business people, educators, construction workers, house wives and tourists. He is very flexible in scheduling appointments either at his studio which is located in the Goleta, Ca area now.  He can also make professional appointments at Holistic Centers in Santa Barbara, Buellton, Key2Fitness or can make home or out call or mobile massage visits in the Tri – Counties area. He also works with other local area professional massage therapists and can offer couples massages and can schedule male and female therapists to come to your home for a amazing couple’s massage.Maybe you own a business with a large group of people or have a large party of people.  Nicola can organize as many therapists as you need to accommodate your specific needs.

 

What’s Causing This Burning Sensation in Muscles?

Please go to these links:

http://www.healthline.com/health/burning-sensation#1

http://www.spine-health.com/forum/pain/chronic-pain/what-causeswhy-am-i-constantly-feeling-a-burning-muscle-pain

http://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases_conditions/hic_musculoskeletal_pain

http://www.builtlean.com/2012/07/04/lactic-acid-build-up/

http://www.wisegeek.org/how-do-i-relieve-a-burning-muscle.htm

 

UCSB Health Wellness Massage Wellness Center Massage for UCSB SBCC students faculty and staff, Nicola, LMT 805-637-7482 – Now located in Goleta

Beautiful-Flowers-by-Ti

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“It is only the illusion of individuality that is the origin of all suffering.”— Dr. David Hawkins, The Eye of the I, p. 297

Intro. On-Line Only In-Call Special 1 1/4 hr $50.00 (1st time client’s) Mon – Fri

plus  offering senior and  veteran  in-call discounts with id.   Policies

Please call for an Appointment: 805-637-7482   Please no texts

 

Save Time and Download 1st Visit Intake Form HERE

 

Any of these modalities listed below can help Neck Pain, Shoulder & Arm Pain, Low Back Pain, Hamstring and Calf Injuries, Chronic Pain, Stress Relief, Sciatica, Carpal Tunnel Relief and any other injuries or muscle related pai

❶Nicola offers  Deep Tissue Massage,  Barefoot Deep Tissue Massage, Ashiatsu, ShiatsuCompression Massage, Sports and Injury Massage, Therapeutic Massage, Orthopedic Massage  (OM)  Myofascial Release, Trigger Point MassageNeuromuscular ReleaseSwedish Massage, Relaxing Massage, Reflexology Massage, Chair Massage, Lymphatic Drainage and some Asian bodywork in the Goleta and Santa Barbara, Ca  area’s. He also offers Healing Massage for Depression and Anxiety.

 

Nicola is a practicing licensed and insured professional LMT ( Licensed Massage Therapist) ( State Certification # 7239 ) and artist based in Goleta and Santa Barbara, CA. Nicola has a wide range of female and male clients from athletes, artists, business people, educators, construction workers, house wives and tourists. He is very flexible in scheduling appointments either at his studio which is located in the Goleta, Ca area now.  He can also make professional appointments at Holistic Centers in Santa Barbara, Buellton, Key2Fitness or can make home or out call or mobile massage visits in the Tri – Counties area. He also works with other local area professional massage therapists and can offer couples massages and can schedule male and female therapists to come to your home for a amazing couple’s massage.Maybe you own a business with a large group of people or have a large party of people.  Nicola can organize as many therapists as you need to accommodate your specific needs.

Mercury levels rising in Pacific yellowfin tuna, study says- LA Times Article Feb 6, 2015

http://riktr.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/4-riktr-pics2.jpg   “It is only the illusion of individuality that is the origin of all suffering.”— Dr. David Hawkins, The Eye of the I, p. 297

Intro. On-Line Only In-Call Special 1 1/4 hr $50.00 (1st time client’s) Mon – Fri

plus  offering senior and  veteran  in-call discounts with id.   Policies

Please call for an Appointment: 805-637-7482   Please no texts

Save Time and Download 1st Visit Intake Form HERE   ❶Nicola offers  Deep Tissue Massage,  Barefoot Deep Tissue Massage, Ashiatsu, ShiatsuCompression Massage, Sports and Injury Massage, Therapeutic Massage, Orthopedic Massage  (OM)  Myofascial Release, Trigger Point MassageNeuromuscular ReleaseSwedish Massage, Relaxing Massage, Reflexology Massage, Chair Massage, Lymphatic Drainage and some Asian bodywork. He also offers Healing Massage for Depression and Anxiety.

  Nicola is a practicing licensed and insured professional Licensed Massage Therapist ( State Certification # 7239 ) and artist based in Santa Barbara, CA. Nicola has a wide range of female and male clients from athletes, artists, business people, educators, construction workers, house wives and tourists. He is very flexible in scheduling appointments either at his studio which is located in the San Roque area in Santa Barbara.  He can also make professional appointments at Holistic Centers in Santa Barbara, Buellton, Key2Fitness or can make home or out call visits in the Tri – Counties area. He also works with other local area professional massage therapists and can schedule male and female therapists to come to your home for a couple’s massage. Maybe you own a business with a large group of people or have a large party of people.  Nicola can organize as many therapists as you need to accommodate your specific needs.

  Yellowfin Tuna

 Here’s the LA Times link:

http://www.latimes.com/science/sciencenow/la-sci-sn-mercury-pacific-tuna-20150202-story.html